Life as I know it in 2013

Once again, it has been over a year since I've last blogged! Life is so busy, that I neglect sharing my stories, as living them takes up much of my time. In this past year, from June 2012 to June 2013, the love of my life, best friend and husband has been serving his country in Dubai. After much prayer, we came to the conclusion that, if he stayed here in Charleston, SC., our family would have to up-root and be moved to a new military duty station. With our kids being in their senior year of high school, my husband and I decided that it would be best for the kids, if he goes on a 360 remote, and the kids and I stay behind. Needless to say, it was a very hard journey for the family, but one we felt was necessary. With the faith we all have, we feel life is what you make it, and that we would not let life's trials come in between our family. We made it!!! As of June 1st, he came home! Some of the hardest lessons we learn come when you least expect them. Last November, my husband and I,(at 44) were blessed with a surprise pregnancy. Not something we planned, due to him being away, but something the Lord gave us. This little life, that was growing inside of me, for a short time, opened our hearts to what love can bring our family. My husband, having no birth children of his own, was overjoyed and excited about the possibilities in our future. Unfortunately, our little blessing went home to be with the Lord before we could meet. I take great comfort that one day in Glory, we will meet our little child! My husband came all the way from Dubai, when I started feeling sick enough to be concerned and spending a night/day in the ER. That act of love that he showed the kids and I will never leave me. He raced home and cared for me, while we tried to hold on in prayer. Mark, is that one person in my world I know without doubt, I can depend on. He's generous with his love for me, and expresses his love deeply in his actions. I'm blessed beyond measure. 7 short days after we lost our baby, my oldest was getting married in CA. The kids, Mark and I flew out to support this union and to share time with our families. I hadn't told many of my loss, not even my pregnancy, as I am older and wanted to wait until the end of my first trimester. So, my son and his bride had no idea. It was an emotional time for all of us. Mark, Jake, Sierra and I were grieving and celebrating at the same time. I did my best to show noting was wrong, so that my son's wedding day wouldn't be gloomy. All and all, it was a wonderful trip with loved ones and I needed that family time, as it helped me with the grieving process. In May my youngest graduated from high school. She is heading to Bible College in CA., and is very excited to start this new journey. Though she is a little nervous, as she's not been away from home much. She has been planning to attend this college since she was 9 years old. Knowing, even now that the Lord has called her to very specific ministries in her future. I'm so proud of her for following her calling and trusting the Lord to meet her needs in life. My middle son, who has had issues with school, will take a few more courses and graduate in Sep. Once he takes care of schooling, he plans to enlist in the USMC, like his older brother. I am proud of him for his willingness to serve our country. I'm also very anxious, as I have been through the deployments with my oldest son. I know that God will supply all the needs for my son, while he is away from home. It is my faith in Christ, that keeps me going strong. He carries my burdens and sorrows, gives me joy and blesses me, even when I do not deserve them. When June of 2012 came, I felt empty and afraid to be without my best friend. Through the wise words of my husband, I realized that I married the one person on this earth, who loved me for who I am. He loves me through my faults, in my weaknesses, for my laughter, for my desires to help every lost child who is in need of love and a home. This man, who promised me, himself. He promised me a lifetime of compassion, understanding, honesty, fidelity, faith in each other, and promised to love me for a lifetime. With his words, I had peace in my soul that we would be fine living this long year apart. And with that conclusion, we set off to the airport and said our goodbyes. Now, as he sits on the couch watching his favorite show, while I sit at the table blogging, he looks at me with his crooked smile and lovely blue eyes and I know this one thing. This past year has been a wonderful gift. I thought that I had learned how to trust again the day I met Mark. However, with the thought of him leaving, I was honestly scared I would end up hurt somehow. That is the farthest from reality. I learned how to trust in every word he said to me. That he IS the man of character that I feel in love with nearly 4 years ago. My love is even stronger now, and I never want to be without this man, I call my husband. As we continue in this year of 2013, we will be moving up North to our new duty station. I will once again say goodbye to all those I've grown to love in SC. I will take pieces of the hearts I have connected with and continue on my journey. Forever, I will be thankful for SC! Here is where Mark and I shared our first home together. Our kids planted roots here, spent their high school years here, and have made life long connections and learned so many valuable lessons. Here, In this very home, is where I found that love comes to those who wait on the Lord. Love comes to those who love back with all honesty and puts another heart & soul first. Here, is where we made a baby and bonded even in that loss. Here, is where we had our fist date! I call SC our home! We are never really done learning, and exploring. I'm so thankful for God's great mercy and love for my family and I. He always prepares us for what is around the corner and gives us each other to face all obstacles. I serve a great God! I look forward to the next half of 2013 and the many more fun experiences and blessings. I'm counting on it! Life is too short to sit in worry and regret. Live it, enjoy it, be thankful for all you go through, because everything shapes us into who we are! I have so much happiness in my heart and I hope that it over flows to you. Until I blog again~ Sarah

True happiness comes to those who are patient 1/7/12

Happy New Years! ( just a little late)
Just an up-date on life, love, happiness and my goal for 2012.
First of all, all the fun and excitement of the new year has slowness down. Our family reunion, baby shower for the first great-grand on my side was such fun! The holiday visiting, celebrations with family, friends and delicious foods have come to an end and life is back to normal! For once in my life, I am overjoyed with that.
Our family spend quality time with my oldest, who deploys in March to Afghanistan, closer to Pakistan than last year. Needless to say, a mother's heart aches at this realization, however, it is my son's calling, as with my husband, to serve their country with honor. It takes a special kind of person, to give of themselves for others. Even though we come across some that spu their brand of hate in regards to service. (My feelings on that, is that they have no self worth and when looking in a mirror, they only see regret and a wasted life).
Once we came home and rested, we all felt very thankful for all that transpired in 2011.
1). My middle son experienced a few hard life lessons, wanted to restore things and came home.
2). In August, my youngest made personal choices & goals for her future, which are remarkable. She is on her way to a very bright future.
3). In Oct my middle son and two friends hit a tree, flipped & rolled my car. Time in the ER and hospital was a huge reminder that all three were blessed to be alive. Needless to say, these three boys have a new outlook on life and the mercy of God. I am thankful I still have all three!
4). August, one of those boys moved in and I now have a third son, a fourth child. My husband and I are thankful he has a place now, where he feels safe, loved & cared for. I am thankful how God knew I wasn't done "parenting" and allowed me to care for this sweet young man.
5). April, My oldest son was diagnosed with PTSD, brain trauma and was able to get some help after his first deployment. He had planned to marry his girlfriend of 4 years, two months before he deployed and when that didn't happen, we all had to adjust and move on. He has recently starting dating a nice girl. All things work out for good. And with everything, time will tell!
6). Even with the difference in work ethics, my co-worker and I work well together, are friends and it gets better every day. He values my hard work and I support and encourage his ability to do great things. And for us as a team to be successful, it takes the two of us. Interestingly enough, when you work closely with someone, you do tend to share details of your lives with each other. That, we have been doing for a year now. It's kinda cool, because things make us a better team, especially when I have shared who I am, where I have been, what freaks have been in my past, and what "so called friends" have done over the years. And my co-worker has done the same. It's like a little marriage, and we make it work because it takes two to make our team be what it is.
7). My husband and I have gone through much as single people and came together to create a life with each other. This is the most genuine and honest my life has been. He is my rock, we would die for the other and we live for the other. My family is now his and his, mine.
This is 2011 in a nutshell! Blessed and happy goes a long way.
Happy 2012!

The True Joy of Life 12/6/11

I met him! Mr. Right! After all the drama I have been through, all the self help books, and months of therapy (trying to figure out why I let low life's in my world and how to spot them) I stumbled onto a kind and gentle man. It has been an interesting journey, to say the least.
So, I dated this awesome man for a year and some. I moved my life, kids and everything to give what we have a real try. After a year of long distant dating, flying each other to and from the opposite ends of the map,I prayed about it and knew it was time.
I was married June of this year and nothing has ever made me happier (accept the birth of my three children). We are celebrating out third Christmas together. The first was with his family & the first time I met them. Last year, we celebrated just he and I and the kids. It was such a special time for this new family. This year we celebrate Christmas with my family.
I am so thankful that I reached a point in life when i knew for absolute who & what is not a healthy choice and stepped from what i thought was good and just waited on the Lord. With a calm spirit within, faith that when I am patient and able to discern who is real and of good character God will give me the man that He wants for me. Thank you, Lord! I am now married to my best friend, a gentle & kind soul. You Someone I confide in and trust with my life. A man of great character, honor, faith who loves my family and I. One cannot ask for more! you see, God gave me all I desired for and more! In my wildest dreams I wouldn't have thought what I have today was possible. I am proof, that our life's trials and sorrows do not define you. All mistakes, all the horrible experiences and destructive people that once tried to destroy you can be just a wrinkle in time. It is not who you used to be, rather, who you are today as you walk in your truth and
God's light.

Deployment

My lovely son, who is a Marine has left for deployment. My kids and I were able to spend some amazing time with him right before he drove off on the Marine bus. Our 4 days together were very busy. Taking a 9 hour drive to spend some alone time with him, bringing him to Vegas to spend time with the family, then back to Oceanside for the send-off. Though I was tired, emotionally and physically, I was drained from the thought I'd have to say goodbye, I wouldn't have had it any other way. All the extra hours in the car alone with him, was time well spent that he and I needed as mother and son.

I'm very proud of my son, and I respect his desires to serve his country. I've known he was going to since he was 5 years old. He's always just been the G.I. Joe and Patriot of our family. I love this young man and my heart aches that he's not home, and that I won't see him for 7 months, (possibly longer).

May our God guide his feet and protect him as he protects our freedoms.

If you are a prayerfull people, please life up this Marine in your prayers. Thank you~

A mother proud but lonely heart~

7/22/10

It has been March of 09 since I last posted. I have been away awhile. Here's the news on my life~

I had been in a very long marriage full of verbal and emotional abuse. As I was struggling to find the strength to move on and take my life back, my best friend became verbally abusive due to his life's situation. He started to drink himself into a mean streek and I would allow that and love him anyway. Dealing with my issues, and not having my friend, whom I love to lean on, I ended up just a mess. I allowed the abuse in my life to worsen and got to a breaking point when something very personal happend. A loss I experienced tore my life upside down. It was through that loss that I found my strength to seek therapy. Anything to help me stay strong while I filed for divorce. I knew that "HE" (the ex) would do everything in his power to destroy my life. You see, when you give your power away to an abuser, they become the center of all issues. They thrive on control and once they have no more control, they become more dangerous. It's like watching someone slipping of a rope holding them to safety... they panic and thrash around, trying to keep what they have hold on. That was my life. He was thrashing around, trying to keep hold on me.

I started therapy, and learned a lot about where I ended up, and how I got there. I found the old me, I had lost so long ago in a marriage that had no love or respect, only fear and control. Where did the love that was once there, go? How did I get lost in the way? Why did I allow someone else to make me feel the way I felt? All the questions were being answered by ME. I finally found me, and with a purpose, I started getting rid of the toxic people in my life. My ex was the first to go, then it was the lies I had told myself for years. Then it was the people in my own faith, that refused to support me, I let go. Just cried and let go. Then sadly, the one person I loved and depended on through so much of my past few years, my best friend.... I let go of that relationship. It was like cutting off part of my body that had an infection. Something that had to be done, but was so painful. I knew that as long as he was drowning in his drinking and causing abuse I could not have him in my life. I said goodbye.

A new happier woman emerges, and with that, a new relationship.

Good Morning,

My last post was something I found on the net. It really spoke to me, as I needed a little friendly reminder of how to deal with others.

I'm having a serious problem with a person who once was considered to be one of my best friends. Unfortunately, he is becoming someone who feels the need to threaten and be emotionally abusive. I never thought he, of all people (knowing my past), would crawl so low. Though that side of him has always been there, I foolishly thought he'd never turn on me. I was wrong!

I was doing some reading online and came across some key points that I wanted to share with everyone. I don't know who out there will read this, but perhaps it may find its way to the one person who needs to read it.

I am simply journaling my experiences as a way of processing my feelings, that I may move beyond pain and hurt to where I know I'm suppose to be.

Are You in an Abusive Relationship? 25 Warning Signs

The recent tragedy between Rihanna and Chris Brown has left many people scratching their heads. How could someone as beautiful as her get into such a relationship? How could he do that to her? Why would she put up with it? Why did she go back to him? Abusive relationships are difficult to explain in a simple article. Their dynamics are complex.

Abusive relationships don't start out that way. Most abusive relationships start out with candy and flowers, courting and romance. The abusive slips in, slowly and maliciously. It may not seem so obvious to the person in the relationship that things are getting out of hand because they have slowly progressed to that point over time. How can you tell if you are in an abusive relationship before someone gets hurt? What are some of the warning signs?
You might be in an abusive relationship if:
You're afraid to break up with them.

You feel tied down, like you have to check-in or account for your whereabouts.

You feel afraid to make decisions or bring up certain subjects because the other person gets too mad.

You are afraid to contradict them.

You tell yourself if you just try harder and love your partner enough that everything will get better.

You find yourself crying a lot, being depressed or unhappy.

You find yourself using more drugs or alcohol to deal with the anxiety or fear in the relationship or to numb yourself out.

You find yourself worrying and obsessing about how to please your partner and keep them happy.

You feel like you are walking on eggshells all the time.

You find the physical, verbal, mental or emotional abuse is getting worse over time.

You are being cut off from family members and friends more and more.

You partner makes decisions about where to go or what to do with little or no input from you.

You are being belittled and called names when the two of you are alone.

You are being embarrassed and humiliated in front of others, or your partner talks about you as if you are not there.

You are having sex that is forced or rougher than you prefer.

You find the intensity you had in the beginning of the relationship quickly waning.

You are being treated like a servant by your partner.

You are prevented from having access to your own money or the family's money.

Money is used to control and manipulate you.

You are made to feel guilty about the children, being told the children need a two parent home.

The children are used to relay messages between you and your partner.

You are being threatened with having the children taken away from you.

Visitation rights are being used to harass you.

Your partner minimizes the abuse, tells you it didn't happen or that you are crazy.

You are feeling intimidated by your partner when they hit objects, abuse pets, brandish weapons, or verbally threaten you.

If you are feeling this way in your relationship, talk to someone. Call a domestic violence hotline, 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Talk to a friend or family member you can trust. See a counselor or mental health provider. It's important to deal with this before you get hurt. Love should not be about fear.

If you have children, it's even more important to get help. If a parent allows a child to be hurt by their spouse and stays in the relationship they can now be charged with failure to protect in many states. Children also learn their relationship patterns from their parents. If you are being abused, you are teaching your children to either; 1) be abuse victims or 2) be abuse perpetrators. You probably learned this pattern by watching your own parents. This cycle of abuse that is handed down from generation to generation has to stop somewhere. Let it be with you.
- Kellen Von Houser, Intent.com

Proven Ways to Get Along Better with EVERYONE

1. Before you say anything to anyone, ask yourself 3 things: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

2. Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully.

3. Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone.

4. Refuse to talk negatively about others; Don't gossip and don't listen to gossip.

5. Have a forgiving view of people. Believe that most people are doing the best they can.

6. Keep an open mind; Discuss, but don't argue. (It is possible to disagree without being disagreeable.)

7. Forget about counting to 10. Count to 1,000 before doing or saying anything that could make matters worse.

8. Let your virtues speak for themselves.

9. If someone criticizes you, see if there is any TRUTH to what is being said; If so, make changes; If there is no truth to the criticism, ignore it and live so that no one will believe the negative remark.

10. Cultivate your sense of humor; Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

11. Do not seek so much to be consoled, as to console; Do not seek so much to be understood, as to understand; Do not seek so much to be loved as to love.